the countdown has officially started!

So I've officially started my countdown until I'm outta Florence. only 167 more days. I'm very ready to be outta here and away from all the drama, and people that are in this town. I've been through a lot of rough spots this year, and apparently things aren't getting any better, but I'm going to get through it. You know I sit here on tonights like this where I have nothing to do, and I'm in a bad mood, and I'm talking to a friend about it and realize just how much I'm ready to get out of here.

I've always dreamed of my senior year being one of the best years of my life, and grant it, it has been a really good year, it just hasn't been as easy as I have always dreamed it to be. It's hard when you start your senior year of high school, and you have no one to talk to. It's almost as if you're starting at a new school and know no one. And yes I'll take full credit for putting myself in that position but when you try to fix things, and it just goes no where after weeks of trying, I just gave up. I knew things would work themselves out, but it took time. The decision about college was stressful and took lots of thinking, planning, praying, and time. Making my decision about college changed when I found out my parents were moving. Just the thought of us moving plus me starting school all at the same time, just stressed me out. I always feared that i would go to my new house and all my stuff would still be in a box where it hadn't been unpacked yet. Not to mention that it wouldn't even be home, because I would know absolutely no one other than my family. Luckily we found out we didn't have to move so that was a heavy weight lifted off my shoulder. Don't get me wrong, I'm loving my senior year, but it hasn't been the easiest of years.

I'm beginning to think this is just a life lesson, that I've had to learn through different people, different things, and different perspectives. I know I've got people here for me to listen to me, to support me, to be my shoulder to cry on, I just wish I would use them and let them help me, and not be so dang stubborn. However lately I have been relying on the Lord more than usual to get me through these times. Maybe I'll just be lucky enough for Him to send me the right person, who will be my encourager until I'm fully satisfied with where I'm at in my life.

i just don't understand..

so this weekend, has been so-so. friday night was pretty rough. i went with a friend to hear what about wednesday at music depot. a really good friend of ours is in the band. well we have been friends since 5th grade. and we've had manyy ups and downs, more downs than we've had ups because of a certain someone in his life, his girlfriend. she acts like he's her slave. he can't talk to any other girl because she will get mad. i don't understand how he lets her just run his life for him. he can't even look at another girl without her yelling at him. i just think that it's retarded and he should be able to do what he wants. all it is, is she is very insecure about their relationship. how you can be in a relationship if you don't trust your boyfriend or girlfriend?! i just don't understand. but it really upsets me because we used to be such good friends, and now he can't even talk to me because of her. his grandparents love me (not trying to be concieted or anything) but they do, but yet they just sit there and watch him ignore me, knowing he wants to talk to me but he can't because of her. how messed up is that? the hardest thing that night was, when they were on the stage playing he kept looking over where i was sitting. he was trying to be nonchalant about it, but because i know him, and how he is, he didn't do a very good job of it. and it just really bothered me that he kept looking over at me, and i couldn't talk to him. maybe it's just me..i'm not really sure, but i think it's pretty immature on their part.

then what really pissed me off, was when i sent him a text message saturday telling him happy birthday, and he responded and said who is this? and i told him who it was, and do you know what he said?! 'please don't text me anymore. just erase my number.' i had to think about what i was going to say, before i responded back. but the more i thought about it, the more mad i got. but this is what i said back to him, 'really? all because i sent you a text message saying happy birthday? you and your girlfriend need to grow the hell up. she's 21 and you're now 18, and you're acting like you're 12 and 8.' and he said, 'whatever. just stop.' and so from now on i have no intentions of every talking to him again.

losing people you care about is very hard, because you often find yourself thinking about them later on in life, and wondering how they are. i guess that's why they always say everywhere you go people come, and they'll go.

so i finally gave in (Michael!)

thanks to michael lotts, i gave into blogging. :)